Friday, May 1, 2009

chapter who knows what number

Hi there!
Sorry for not keeping up with this, I kinda forgot! Tour is still tour. It's actually a lot better than it was when I last wrote, but it is getting harder to be away from home. I have about 17 more days until I reach California soil!! I am excited to see everyone, but sad because Tran will be leaving the day I get back, so I will be saying hello & goodbye :\ . I was just updating my calendar on my MacBook [which btw is a great application!] and I noticed that our next few weeks on tour are not that booked. We have a lot of days off, because we had trouble booking them, especially in Pennsylvania. Sooo, if you know anyone in the Philly or even Pittsburgh area that would want to host a screening, let me know! I was also inputting my schedule for when we get home. It is sort of a tease because I'll get home, but I still am not done with my internship as a Nomad. We have a retreat when we get to Torrance, CA for 3 days and then we have the weekend off, and then we are in the office doing debriefing office work Mon-Fri from 9am to 7pm everyday. Then Saturday night we have a farewell dinner...THEN I am officially done. Wow. So, technically I still have a while to go, but I will just be so happy to be near home :]

So back to tour! After Philly [which I really loved] we went to NYC. Which you think I would love too, right? Wrong. I mean, I have been there once before when I was 13 or 14, and enjoyed it. It's not like I hated the city this time around, however I was probably at my worst. The weather was terrible, the tour was rocky, everything cost an arm & a leg, and tons of not-so-fun miscommunication. The worst part was I was so, so lonely. I don't think I have ever felt so lonely. You know that feeling when your bf/gf breaks up with you, and it's the next morning and you wake up & it hits you in your stomach? Yeah, I felt that everyday. It is hard to explain. I also realized something else; when you are in a new place with tons of awesome landscapes & monuments, it's not so great when you have no one to share it with. I guess Christopher McCandless was right, happiness is only real when shared.
I am okay though.

The rest is sort of a blur, haha. Sorry. But I am still here. I still have learned a lot about myself, and about people in general.
I did get to see both of my aunts that live on the eastcoast, as well as hang out with my cousin, Jason. Both which were very interesting [in a good way] experiences. I love the fact that when it comes to family that it doesn't matter how much time you spend apart from each other, they will still always be there no matter what. Plus, I really benefited from the conversations I had with them.

My favorite city so far has been BOSTON. I absolutely loved it. The weather was beautiful for the most part, and I learned so much about the history of Boston and got to see lots of beautiful places. I even took a trolley tour on my day off and I highly recommend taking those in the cities that offer them! I took lots of pictures too. [there are too many pics to post on here right now, so if you want go to & look at my "on the road again" photo album!]

We are on our last leg of our tour & it's actually getting really tough. On one hand, I am super excited to finish strong and GET HOME! However, I am finding that each day is a personal struggle to just get through it. I am missing Dustin like crazy. It has been such a blessing to be able to talk to him everyday & when possible, video chat. Being apart for this long has made us both realize that our love for each other is so strong & that we are both excited to begin the rest of our lives together! I also just miss my friends, and my community back home. I can't wait to get back on track with everyone!!

Friends, please keep me in prayer these next couple of weeks. Pray for patience, strength & just that everything will work out when I do get home [financially & what will happen this summer]

Thank you guys so much! Love you!!!


  1. What a wonderful post miss! I love you!

  2. aw, that made my heart smile <3 i love you too!

  3. I am so proud of you Bren for being so strong. I am really thankful that you are my BEST friend are able to be someone of importance in my life. I have been/will be praying for you my friend. I cannot wait to sing loud in the car with you and dance like craazzzzy [wheres crazy?]. Tell some jokes and laugh. Ahhh I cannot wait to see you. ILOVEYOU soo much and thanks for being such a good sister to me. I cannot thank the Lord enough for bringing you into my life.

  4. oh beck! that was so sweet :] i know, i can not wait to hang out with you and go back to our lives. this experience has definitely taught me to appreciate your close friends and community. i love you best friend. see you soon <3

  5. Awesome Brenda! I'm glad you finally updated your blog! :)

    You will be in my prayers for these next couple weeks... it seems like you still have a full plate of stuff going on, but I know the Lord will bless you through it, and it's cool seeing you realize how God is working within you, even when it only seems to be harder...

    And yes, we as a band are good friends with Joshua Clothing. We had the opportunity to stay with them for a couple of days in Vegas on this tour. Do you know them?

  6. No, I don't know them, however they added me on myspace, and they had a video and the music in the background was your band, so that is why I asked. I really like their clothing, I wanna buy something when I come home.

    & Thank you for your prayers, that means so much to my heart. Tour is getting pretty hard, however I know we grow through our times of struggle, so I am staying focussed on the positives.

  7. My favorite part: "when you are in a new place with tons of awesome landscapes & monuments, it's not so great when you have no one to share it with. I guess Christopher McCandless was right, happiness is only real when shared."

    So true. I totally agree.
    And I love Boston too.