Sunday, December 12, 2010

if grace is an ocean, we're all sinking

I can't even count the amount of times that I've sat down on my computer, & thought "I need to blog again"... it's been about a month since I last updated this virtual world. Oh well.

There is so much to write about, but I guess I will just start with the most recent change. As of Friday night, I have officially completed my first tour as a Regional Manager at LiNK. The night was filled with laughter, talent, & emotion. I have been reflecting on these last few months, & I still can't believe it's over. There were definitely moments of this tour, that I didn't think I was going to last as an RM, but I survived! I learned so much. I am beyond grateful for this experience, even in the midst of trial & frustration, I am growing so much as a person, & as an RM. I really enjoy this work. I was so blessed by our team of nomads from this fall. They each brought so much to the table, & inspired me. It was hard to say good bye to them. Two more tours to go before my position is over at LiNK. I am excited about 2011! Leah, we've got this ;)

Aside from work related events, I've been through a lot of changes as of lately. I definitely will not go into the details over this blog, but I came to a fork in the road, well, more like a dead end, & had to make some changes in my life. I am so confident that God has me where I am right now for such a purpose. Looking back in reflection of this year, I almost can't even believe I made it through all that I put myself through. It truly is only by God's grace that I am standing, & not an emotional wreck. I am really excited about where God is leading me. I don't know much about what 2011 will hold. The only thing I really know is where I am going to live, & where I am going to work (since those are both in a year binding contract). Everything else is unclear, & for once, I couldn't be happier about that fact.

There is something so beautiful & freeing about surrender.

When we finally stop fighting with God on what we should be doing in life, & truly surrender everything to Him, I feel that He immediately gets to work. I almost have this image of Him just patiently waiting for us to just respond to Him, & say, "Okay Lord, I am ready. Let's begin this change." & then He shakes everything up, for the better. It's amazing.

Through this past year, I've learned many things, many lessons, experienced a lot of heartache. But, through it all, I've experienced God's grace & God's love more than I ever have in my life.

I know I am rambling (I guess this is what happens when you put off blogging for so long...), but I want to encourage you with something that I wish I could have grasped a year ago. It's so simple, yet the most life altering idea you'll ever experience.

God loves you,
& He is jealous of your heart.

Not in this envious, dramatic way. But in the way that your heart was made to first & foremost be devoted to your Creator; your Father. When we neglect that fact, we are missing the point. Ah, there's just so much peace within that release. & Do not fret, my friends. If you've missed this point, there is grace. Beautiful, sweet grace.

Something my pastor said tonight really hit me. When God saved us, it wasn't just a one time thing. He is continually saving us, in a sense, He continues to rescue us. His blood covers all, over & over & over again.

Song recommendation: "How He Loves" by John Mark McMillan
This song is literally on repeat throughout my day.

There is no such thing as the right place, the right job, the right calling or ministry. I can be happy or unhappy in all situations. I am sure of it, because I have been. Deciding to do this, that, or the other for the next five, ten, or twenty years is no great decision. Turning fully, unconditionally, & without fear to God is. Yet this awareness sets me free.

- Henri J.M. Nouwen

What do you need to surrender? What is holding you back from giving that up?

Keep fighting the Good Fight,

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