one year down, a lifetime to go

photo credit: sarah shreves

A week and a half ago, Jamey and I celebrated ONE year of marriage. We heard a lot of things about the first year of marriage. One thing being that it would fly by, and another that it would be the hardest year. One was true, and the other could not be further from the truth. 

Time most definitely flew by for us. It feels like it was yesterday, that I was sitting in my old living room with my closes ladies, getting ready for our big day. I vividly remember being oddly calm and content, just ready for our special day to take place. One year later, here we are. I love reflecting back on this past year, and all of the memories and sweet moments we've made together, as husband & wife. I'm kicking myself for not posting more blogs about those moments, because I know one day my memory won't be as strong, and those special times will soon fade away. But alas, here I am now, making the effort! 

We were graciously gifted with a week-long stay in San Francisco by my wonderful Grandma. We spent the first week of June roaming the city streets of SF and exploring together. It was a wonderful week of getting away and being on a much needed vacation, but most importantly, celebrating our love together. 

[a few snapshots from our trip to san francisco]

On our actual anniversary (June 22nd),  we spent the entire day together, doing some of the things we love. We started the morning off in Long Beach (one of our favorite cities, which holds so many of our first memories together), and got breakfast at our favorite diner, Long Beach Cafe. This is also where we had our first impromptu "date". Oh, and if you ever go there, do yourself a favor and order the Cinnamon Pancakes... to die for! After that, we just drove aimlessly around the city and then started to make our way back home. We spent the afternoon being lazy together  and watching back-to-back episodes of Friends. W

e got all dolled up, and went out to a restaurant called Stubrik's, in Downtown Fullerton. We rarely spend a lot of money on going out to eat, but for this special occasion we definitely knew it was necessary! (Plus, we had a gift card from my best friend, so it was a no-brainer!). The dinner was delicious, and the atmosphere had a really neat vibe. 

anniversary date at stubrik's in fullerton

My favorite part of dinner was that we shared our reflections on our first year of marriage, and then we shared our goals for year two. We kept our goals to a minimum, and then we asked how we could encourage the other person in accomplishing those goals. I loved that. I love that I have the honor of living and sharing this life with Jamey. He is the best gift I could ever ask for, and he is a constant reminder of grace & unconditional love.

The first year of marriage could be described in so many words..."hard" is not one of them. 

Here's to year TWO, and to many, many more after that.

XO

Brenda

dear twenty thirteen

Dear 2013,

You brought me so much joy and excitement. You were filled with many intense days of planning and preparation for the most significant day of my life. You gave me rest and you gave me exhaustion. You reminded me that although I am not a perfect person, there is someone who loves me more than his own life. You showed me that an honest, loyal and faithful marriage is possible. You gave me opportunities, and you helped me to better my character. You helped me to revisit my past and take steps towards a promising future. You were the year that allowed me to become debt-free, for the first time in my adult life. You opened doors for me to travel with my favorite people, and experience new horizons. You instilled in me more desires and passions. You taught me that God is much bigger than a church building, or a simplistic worship song. You taught me grace. You revealed to me the importance of community. You gave me a chance to embrace optimism in the midst of a rather negative world. You reminded me that I am loved, blessed and capable. 

2013 you were a fabulous and exciting year, thank you for exceeding my expectations.

January - December 2013

Dear 2014,

Here's to a new chapter, and a new year. I am confident that you will continue to grow and change me, for the better. I welcome you with open and anxious arms. I am excited to observe how far you will stretch me, and what doors you will guide me through. I have a inkling that you will not let me stand still, but instead you will keep me on edge, and on the very tips of my toes. 

Here's to a new adventure, a new season & a new year.

XO,

Brenda

the itch to leave, the desire to create

he is the best thing

I have an itch.

I want to go on an adventure soon. Or, maybe I just am desiring a little bit of change. Am I crazy for wanting that, considering the fact that it's only been a little over a month since I got married? I'd say that's one of the biggest changes/adventures you can ever experience! I think what it really comes down to is that I want to go on an adventure/experience a change with my husband. 

There. That sounds much better.

I've moved 20+ times, had 17 jobs and have done some pretty radical things in my life. I am used to change. I used to hate it, but now I believe it's just innately in my blood. I have always wanted to turn that into something for the better. That's why I believe I grew up being a creative person. Creating became something I would do when I'd have that itch to move, quit, leave, etc. Instead of doing those things which may have set me back, I'd create. Whether that be writing, music, performing, art. Heck, even learning a new recipe. 

I have learned to just create in the midst of those awful itches.

Now that I am a wife, I want to learn how to have a healthy balance between the itch to GO and the choice to just CREATE instead. The fact is, both are great; both are necessary to experience a joy filled life. And, it really comes down to another fact -- I no longer am living this life according to my own desires and inclinations. I have made a commitment to journey through this life with Jamey. 

The best part is I am pretty sure he and I experience these itches and creative moments at similar times.

We're going to have a great life together.

XO,

Brenda


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marriage: year one

Oh hey there, Blog. I’ve neglected you for a long while now, I am sorry. It’s not personal, I promise…

Two and a half weeks ago, I married the most genuine, kind-hearted, handsome man I’ve ever met. Since we said “I do”, my life has never been the same. Everything tastes better, sounds sweeter, and looks more beautiful. Life truly feels perfect. I am not naïve to believe that it will always feel this way, but I also am not negative enough to believe we can’t always strive for it to be.

When we got engaged, I heard many tips and advice from those who were married. Some great, some not so great. A common tip, or warning I should say, was that the first year was the hardest year. That frightened me. Who wants to walk into their marriage fearing the first year, and just wishing you could skip pass it altogether? I took that fear and I used it as motivation. To not only make year one not be the hardest, but instead the easiest & one of the best years of our marriage.

Jamey & I made the decision to write our own vows, and I am so happy we did.  When we exchanged vows, we put our entire hearts and souls into what we wrote. To my groom I vowed, 

“to always fight for our marriage & defend our love” 

and 

“to protect our love & not allow anyone or anything tear it apart”.

I want those words to not just be vows I simply said on our wedding day, but to be commitments I make to him on a daily basis. Jamey and I want to break the statistic of year one, and instead make it monumental & memorable. It is going to take work, and it will definitely take effort. But, we believe in our love, and when you believe in love, you have to fight for it; you have to defend it. The moment you stop fighting for it, or worse, when you feel you don’t need to fight for it -- that is the beginning of a downward slope.

So, to year one of marriage, I welcome you with open arms & an open heart. This year, I will be intentional to make memories, go on adventures & adore my husband. I will refrain from getting too content within our marriage. I will ensure that my Darling feels appreciated & cared for, on a daily basis. I will plan things out so that year one does not slip right passed us.

>>>>> 

If you’re married, I’d love to hear about your first year of marriage. 

Any regrets? Any proud moments? Please share!

XO

Brenda