life is meant for getaways

Jamey and I have been busy just about every weekend for the last two months. Date nights were placed on the back burner, and our weekends would just fly by. I mentioned to Jamey that I was craving some genuine quality time with him. I love my husband for a billion reasons, but one of the things I love most is how intentional he is. He listens to my needs, and he does his best to meet them. 

Last week, I told him that we had zero plans that weekend. He told me that he actually had a surprise planned for me that Saturday. I was so excited! I love surprises. He wouldn't give me anymore information, and I didn't even bother to ask, because I didn't want to ruin it! I had a couple guesses in my mind of where we were going, but I didn't bug him about it.

While I was getting ready Saturday morning, he went to his parents to pick up a memory foam mattress, because we were planning to sleep in our car that night. We hit the road around 9:30am. We got on the 5 North, so that eliminated San Diego (one of my guesses). I was on cloud nine. I had my favorite person beside me, good jams playing, the most perfect weather, and a day full of mystery & adventure in front of us… I couldn't be happier!

We had been driving for a couple hours, and since I happen to be horrible with directions/geography, I had no clue where we were. I eventually saw signs for Santa Barbara, and he started to pull off the freeway. He made it clear to me that this was just a stop. He drove around for a bit, and then eventually pulled into a brewery parking lot! We were going beer tasting! :) We've been wanting to do this more lately, so I was really excited! It was an awesome brewery/tasting room called Figuerora Mountain Brewing Co. It was perfect. We bought a flight of four different beers. It was so fun to relax and be in a new atmosphere. Plus, drinking good beer is always a perk!

We got back on the road, and I was still clueless as to where we were going. An hour later, I see a sign for Solvang, and it hit me; I knew where we were going! Solvang is such a cute, little danish town about an hour from Santa Barbara. We walked around and looked at all the precious shops. I love that when you're walking around Solvang, you feel like for a moment in time, you're not in America anymore. That was the best part! Another thing I noticed about Solvang was, you can't walk further than 5 feet without running into either a winery, coffee shop or bakery. Man, you're set! 

Solvang is the definition of cute

We decided we wanted to end our evening in Santa Barbara. We didn't have any set plans, but that's what made it so fun! I kept saying to Jamey, "we can do anything we want!". I believe there's a time for plans, and a time for spontaneity. This was a time for spontaneity. We looked up a drive-in theater, and found one right outside of SB. They were showing the Lego Movie, which Jamey's been wanting to see, so it was perfect. I mentioned earlier that we were planning to sleep in our. This wasn't because we couldn't stay in a hotel, but because we wanted to do something we'd never done before! We have a Kia Soul, so we laid our seats down flat and filled the trunk area with blankets and pillows to make it even with the seats. Then, we laid a memory foam on top of that and voilà! we had a make-shift bed :) After we watched the movie, we started driving around SB to find a spot to go to sleep. We ended up in a rather nice neighborhood, overlooking the ocean. I'd say our spot was better than most hotels we could have stayed in. We woke up to the sun rising over the Pacific and, my God, was that breathtaking.

The view of the Pacific from our backseat

I loved our little surprise getaway. It was so much fun, and it was really needed. I love taking the time to enjoy our lives and the spare time we have. It's so important to invest and be intentional with one another. Now, it's my turn to plan a little surprise getaway for Jamey, and I can tell you my brain is already filling up with fun ideas!

XO
Brenda

Solvang is also full of awesome photo ops

Babe alert.

my dream job

After I graduated from high school, I went straight to Bible College. I lasted a whopping 30 days. I could get into all the nitty gritty details, but I'll spare you; it just was not a good fit for me. I decided to work full-time, save money and move out. I enrolled in the local community college the following semester. I went to college because I thought I had to. I didn't necessarily want to go. I wanted to learn, and I wanted to become successful, but I honestly dreaded going to college. All the times I was in school, I never felt like I was where I was supposed to be. I battled with thinking I was a failure for not wanting to fully commit to college, and I feared what others would think of me. 

It took me attempting college five times until I finally realized, it's just not for me.

I withdrew from school, and came to grips with the fact that I needed to find a different direction in life. I started interning for a non-profit organization, which ended up leading me to a full-time position as a Regional Manager for the organization. During my time at LiNK, I felt I had found my purpose. In a sense, I viewed my season with them as my "college" experience. I learned an immense amount of information and walked away with great work experience. When it came time to leave LiNK, I found myself back at square one. I thought for sure I'd land a great job, considering all the experience I had gained. After six moths of being on unemployment, I finally found a job as an Administrative Assistant for a University. I was so, so happy! I've been at this job now for a little over a year & a half, and I love it. I love my routine, I love the people I work with, and the benefits are amazing. 

But, it's not my dream job.

I was just talking with my husband this weekend, and saying how proud I am of a few of our friends. They are working so hard to achieve their dream job. And for a lot of them, they are already in their dream job! I am inspired by the hard work they've put in to achieve their dreams. I made a comment to him saying, "and then there's me… what am I doing?". I love my husband for many, many reasons, but especially because of the ways he encourages me. Although he knew the answer, he still asked me, "Babe, what is your dream job?". I replied, "to be a stay at home mom". 

[original source unknown]

That is my dream job. I say it proudly, and with confidence. I want to be a stay at home mom! Just as much as my friends may feel deeply called to be a hair stylist, a music producer, a therapist, a business professional, a nurse, etc… I feel deeply called to be a stay at home mom. 

So, now what? I started to put it into perspective. No, I'm not ready to be a mom, just yet. But when the time does come, I want to be as ready as I can be. I know that you can't possibly be 100% prepared for motherhood, but I believe there are several things I can do to get started. This is where I'm currently at. I am trying to utilize the time that I have while I am still child-free to better myself when that season comes. 

Maybe my dream job isn't so typical, or even revered by some… I could careless about any of those things. I have a deep respect for women who feel the calling to be a stay at home mom, and who commit to it. Don't get me wrong -- I have respect for any mom out there, who puts their family first, and does what's best for them (which might mean not staying at home). I just know that for me, and my family, this is what will be best for us, because this is what I'm called to. I'm incredibly grateful for a husband who not only supports this calling of mine, but also believes wholeheartedly in it as well.

That's my dream job, what is yours, and how are you working towards fulfilling it?

XO,

Brenda

the time our souls connected

The season was fall, and the year was 2009.

We had known each other for a year, but had only recently started hanging out within the same group. Jamey was the kind of guy who you could instantly get along with. He's slow to judge and quick to engage. I had particularly associated him with a stage and limelight atmosphere. He was in a band that a lot of my friends would go see perform, and he just had the ability to display passion and personality via his microphone and electric guitar. He was a total rockstar. When he started to come around more, I was shocked to find out that he was more of a low-key, 

introvert by day and fierce rockstar by night. I was instantly intrigued. 

We initially connected on the fact that we both loved Jesus, but quickly after that we identified with our same love for Pop-Punk music. We were those twenty-something year olds who refused to let go of our early high school music. We would get so excited to talk about which bands we listened to 

(and still do), and which shows we went to. We agreed on practically everything when it came to our taste in music. Something I thought I'd never find in someone. 

I was from Long Beach, he was from Orange County-ish. I'm the type of person who has a lot of pride for the city I'm from, so when I heard that Jamey wasn't too familiar with LBC, I instantly wanted to show him around. We made plans for him to come to my place one random Wednesday evening. I was really looking forward to showing Jamey the places and spots that were really special to me. Most of the places I wanted to show him had to do with music, one way or another.

We started the night off by going to my favorite record store in Long Beach, Fingerprints. Neither of us (at the time) owned a record player, but I told him it was one of those places that brought me comfort. I loved walking up and down the aisles, and smelling the scent of aged music and books. I showed him the first CD I ever purchased: Lagwagon, "Plaidinum", and he of course laughed at the fact that I was into Punk music at 11 years old. I can also remember him spending a lot of time going through each and every record. Since I would frequent Fingerprints, I was done pretty quickly. He feared that I was bored and waiting on him, but it was then that I assured him 

I'm the type of person that will always be honest. I told him, 

"you don't have to worry about me not speaking my mind. I'll always be honest with you." 

Reflecting back to that specific frame in time brings such a smile to my face. Not much has changed with Jamey and I. I believe that moment was a very crucial and pivotal moment for us. My initial goal for showing him Long Beach was to help him to see how awesome my city was. But, it turned out to be so much deeper than that. I showed him a piece of myself, and who I was. I let him in, and that never came easy for me. There was something about Jamey that made me 

incredibly comfortable to share myself with him. 

The rest of the night was full of driving up Ocean Blvd., with former Drive-Thru bands as our soundtrack. I'm sure we ate good food, and I'm sure we shared a lot of stories. It kind of becomes a blur to me. But one thing I know is that I felt so safe around him. I ended the "tour of Long Beach" by taking him to my spot. It was this area that overlooked the beautiful ocean, but was kind of hidden. It was there that I opened up to him about all of my pain and sorrows. I sort of, unintentionally, let it all out. He had proved himself to be a good friend to me, and to be someone who wanted to know me at my core. He reassured me that he passed no judgment on me, 

and that he felt I was a good person. 

Although we were merely friends that one random Wednesday in the Fall of 2009, I believe that was the moment our souls connected. I believe that day was intended to happen. It's one of my favorite memories with Jamey, because it was the first time I noticed him, 

and I felt like he noticed me, too.

The rest is history. We are so in love, and so happy to be in each other's company. We still frequent record stores and he still takes way longer to look through records than I do ;). 

But, I still reassure him that I'll speak my mind when I need to. 

Engagement Photos:
//Fingerprints
//Fall 2012

Jamey, I love our love. I love that one random Wednesday in Long Beach that I got to share with you. I believe that although it may have been random to us at the time, 

it was intended to happen to make us who we are today.

XO

Brenda

[I originally got the idea to blog about this because of Dani's post, "Ideas for the Stumped Blogger". 

Thank you, Dani, for the inspiration to get out of my dry writing spell!]

*photo credit: Sarah Shreves

the itch to leave, the desire to create

he is the best thing

I have an itch.

I want to go on an adventure soon. Or, maybe I just am desiring a little bit of change. Am I crazy for wanting that, considering the fact that it's only been a little over a month since I got married? I'd say that's one of the biggest changes/adventures you can ever experience! I think what it really comes down to is that I want to go on an adventure/experience a change with my husband. 

There. That sounds much better.

I've moved 20+ times, had 17 jobs and have done some pretty radical things in my life. I am used to change. I used to hate it, but now I believe it's just innately in my blood. I have always wanted to turn that into something for the better. That's why I believe I grew up being a creative person. Creating became something I would do when I'd have that itch to move, quit, leave, etc. Instead of doing those things which may have set me back, I'd create. Whether that be writing, music, performing, art. Heck, even learning a new recipe. 

I have learned to just create in the midst of those awful itches.

Now that I am a wife, I want to learn how to have a healthy balance between the itch to GO and the choice to just CREATE instead. The fact is, both are great; both are necessary to experience a joy filled life. And, it really comes down to another fact -- I no longer am living this life according to my own desires and inclinations. I have made a commitment to journey through this life with Jamey. 

The best part is I am pretty sure he and I experience these itches and creative moments at similar times.

We're going to have a great life together.

XO,

Brenda


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marriage: year one

Oh hey there, Blog. I’ve neglected you for a long while now, I am sorry. It’s not personal, I promise…

Two and a half weeks ago, I married the most genuine, kind-hearted, handsome man I’ve ever met. Since we said “I do”, my life has never been the same. Everything tastes better, sounds sweeter, and looks more beautiful. Life truly feels perfect. I am not naïve to believe that it will always feel this way, but I also am not negative enough to believe we can’t always strive for it to be.

When we got engaged, I heard many tips and advice from those who were married. Some great, some not so great. A common tip, or warning I should say, was that the first year was the hardest year. That frightened me. Who wants to walk into their marriage fearing the first year, and just wishing you could skip pass it altogether? I took that fear and I used it as motivation. To not only make year one not be the hardest, but instead the easiest & one of the best years of our marriage.

Jamey & I made the decision to write our own vows, and I am so happy we did.  When we exchanged vows, we put our entire hearts and souls into what we wrote. To my groom I vowed, 

“to always fight for our marriage & defend our love” 

and 

“to protect our love & not allow anyone or anything tear it apart”.

I want those words to not just be vows I simply said on our wedding day, but to be commitments I make to him on a daily basis. Jamey and I want to break the statistic of year one, and instead make it monumental & memorable. It is going to take work, and it will definitely take effort. But, we believe in our love, and when you believe in love, you have to fight for it; you have to defend it. The moment you stop fighting for it, or worse, when you feel you don’t need to fight for it -- that is the beginning of a downward slope.

So, to year one of marriage, I welcome you with open arms & an open heart. This year, I will be intentional to make memories, go on adventures & adore my husband. I will refrain from getting too content within our marriage. I will ensure that my Darling feels appreciated & cared for, on a daily basis. I will plan things out so that year one does not slip right passed us.

>>>>> 

If you’re married, I’d love to hear about your first year of marriage. 

Any regrets? Any proud moments? Please share!

XO

Brenda