Since I have been home from tour [about two weeks] I have been so busy. I am finishing up my 'nomad-ship' with LiNK this weekend. It is crazy to think only 3 months ago, I was quitting my job, withdrawing from school, selling my car & moving out of my apartment for this crazy adventure. I can't even explain how much I have grown as an individual as well as spiritually. Realizing that when the Lord calls us to drop everything & die to ourselves and rely only on Him, He means it. I am so grateful to the relationships I have that have stuck by me during this experience, as well as the new friendships that I have created along the way.
We have been in the office everyday, tying up loose ends and doing a lot of data entry. I really enjoy this environment though. The people, the atmosphere, everything. I am not miserable, and it doesn't even bother me being here for extended hours either. I feel so much joy when I am in this place.
Last week I had my interview with LiNK; I applied to be the Artist Relations Intern for the summer. I got it! I am SO excited for this position. It's so encouraging too because they have expressed their excitement & vision for me and this position. I really want to succeed at this. I feel it will open doors for my future & guide me in the academic/career path that I should take.
Unfortunately, it is an non-paid internship. I need to make money, so I am hoping I can work at the CPK down the street from my mom's house in LB. If not, I will look anywhere. I am just really looking forward to this summer in general. I want to make the best of it, and not be lazy. I want to go explore, ride my bike, play sports in the park, write music, play shows, go to shows, go on a million dates with Dustin, haha, and learn to love the beach :]
Friends, I am so grateful for the impact you have in my life. Thank you for all that you are to me. I love you all.
-Bren
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
home sweet home :]
...I’M HOME! :D
so anyways...
I got home Friday morning around 1am, after leaving Philly Tuesday night around 11:30pm, driving straight without stopping except for in Chicago for a couple hours. Needless to say, I was exhausted. The first person I saw was Becky. I jumped out of the van, practically still in motion, and jumped on her! Haha! It was so refreshing to see an amazing familiar face like hers. We didn’t get to spend much time together because I was meeting Dustin at the LiNK office, because he was picking me up. As I was about a minute away from the office, my heart starting racing & I got really nervous. I was about to see the love of my life, whom I hadn’t seen in almost 10 weeks. I turned into the parking lot, & saw him standing so beautifully against his car with his arms crossed & with the cutest grin on his face. I parked horribly, jumped out of the van & ran to him, jumped into his arms and he spun me in a circle. We hugged for a few minutes, both of us were to nervous to make eye contact, it was cute. It just was so emotionally intense to go so long without seeing such a close person to my soul and then all of the sudden seeing them. It felt as if we had just started dating again. We stayed up late, got up early, then after a few errands, spent the day together. It was perfect in every way. I love him so much. That night, Patty [his mom] made us dinner, which was nice to sit down and talk to his parents about my trip. I love their home, it feels so right when I am there :]
Saturday I woke up early and met Becky and we drove to meet up with Tran. It was so good to see Tran, but so sad at the same time. I had to say hello & goodbye in the same morning. She left for Montana for the summer. I am happy for her, but I wish she could be apart of my summer here in southern California :\ . After Tran left, Becky and I hung out with Megan! I just had such a good time being around people who get me and who love me for me. It was so amazing. We got Rite-Aid ice cream and just talked and caught up. Then we went to the Brea Mall and got our ears pierced! It was pretty impulsive, but I am glad we did :]
After that, I met up with Bea. I love hanging out with Bea for many reasons, but especially for our inside jokes, our movie quotes, our awkward facial expressions & just because I laugh more with her than with anyone else. I feel like I haven’t laughed much in the past 2 1/2 months, so it was needed. We stopped by Christine’s [a student in the youth group] 16th birthday party, then headed to Mikey’s! It was really good to see so many old friends and just hang out. I was so tired by the end of the night, but all in all, it was so good to see so many of my good friends throughout the day.
Today, I woke up early again, boo! I went to Beachpoint in HB. It was SO good. I seriously missed going to church while I was on the road. I felt right at home. Bill preached and did such a great job. I really got a lot out of it. He was talking about the conversion of Saul. He quoted C.S Lewis saying, “His compassion is our liberation”. I love it. After service, Dustin and I went to get sushi. oh my. I missed crunch rolls. The eastcoast was amazing and all, but their sushi, sucked. Well, at least compared to California :] Then we walked around the swap meet at Golden West college. I just love spending casual time with my boyfriend. He is such a blessing to me, and I can’t get enough of him! The rest of my Sunday was spent relaxing at my mom’s apartment, which has been so nice. I am back to the LiNK office tomorrow, bright & early! It’s bitter-sweet. But more sweet :] I really do enjoy the people I work with at LiNK, so it will be good seeing everyone in the office.
I want to leave you all with this illustration that I read in my friend Carolyn’s blog the other day, that I thought was so amazing. Hopefully it is encouraging to someone :
"As I came home from church one evening, I was struggling to recognize God's guidance for my life. Suddenly, I drove into dense fog and could see nothing. Poking my head out the window, I noticed a tiny light from the road ahead. As I inched my car forward, it blinked out and another set of oncoming headlights took its place some yards ahead. I crawled along, following just the short distance I could see--one light after another--until the fog cleared. Then I realized that this is how God guides me. He shows me how far I need to go at any given moment. And step-by-step, I move from one light to the next. Confident of God's guidance, I let go of the need to see his complete plan."
Dr. Helen Roseveare, a British medical missionary in Africa from 1953 to 1973
Ah, it’s SO good to be home. Love you all.
so anyways...
I got home Friday morning around 1am, after leaving Philly Tuesday night around 11:30pm, driving straight without stopping except for in Chicago for a couple hours. Needless to say, I was exhausted. The first person I saw was Becky. I jumped out of the van, practically still in motion, and jumped on her! Haha! It was so refreshing to see an amazing familiar face like hers. We didn’t get to spend much time together because I was meeting Dustin at the LiNK office, because he was picking me up. As I was about a minute away from the office, my heart starting racing & I got really nervous. I was about to see the love of my life, whom I hadn’t seen in almost 10 weeks. I turned into the parking lot, & saw him standing so beautifully against his car with his arms crossed & with the cutest grin on his face. I parked horribly, jumped out of the van & ran to him, jumped into his arms and he spun me in a circle. We hugged for a few minutes, both of us were to nervous to make eye contact, it was cute. It just was so emotionally intense to go so long without seeing such a close person to my soul and then all of the sudden seeing them. It felt as if we had just started dating again. We stayed up late, got up early, then after a few errands, spent the day together. It was perfect in every way. I love him so much. That night, Patty [his mom] made us dinner, which was nice to sit down and talk to his parents about my trip. I love their home, it feels so right when I am there :]
Saturday I woke up early and met Becky and we drove to meet up with Tran. It was so good to see Tran, but so sad at the same time. I had to say hello & goodbye in the same morning. She left for Montana for the summer. I am happy for her, but I wish she could be apart of my summer here in southern California :\ . After Tran left, Becky and I hung out with Megan! I just had such a good time being around people who get me and who love me for me. It was so amazing. We got Rite-Aid ice cream and just talked and caught up. Then we went to the Brea Mall and got our ears pierced! It was pretty impulsive, but I am glad we did :]
After that, I met up with Bea. I love hanging out with Bea for many reasons, but especially for our inside jokes, our movie quotes, our awkward facial expressions & just because I laugh more with her than with anyone else. I feel like I haven’t laughed much in the past 2 1/2 months, so it was needed. We stopped by Christine’s [a student in the youth group] 16th birthday party, then headed to Mikey’s! It was really good to see so many old friends and just hang out. I was so tired by the end of the night, but all in all, it was so good to see so many of my good friends throughout the day.
Today, I woke up early again, boo! I went to Beachpoint in HB. It was SO good. I seriously missed going to church while I was on the road. I felt right at home. Bill preached and did such a great job. I really got a lot out of it. He was talking about the conversion of Saul. He quoted C.S Lewis saying, “His compassion is our liberation”. I love it. After service, Dustin and I went to get sushi. oh my. I missed crunch rolls. The eastcoast was amazing and all, but their sushi, sucked. Well, at least compared to California :] Then we walked around the swap meet at Golden West college. I just love spending casual time with my boyfriend. He is such a blessing to me, and I can’t get enough of him! The rest of my Sunday was spent relaxing at my mom’s apartment, which has been so nice. I am back to the LiNK office tomorrow, bright & early! It’s bitter-sweet. But more sweet :] I really do enjoy the people I work with at LiNK, so it will be good seeing everyone in the office.
I want to leave you all with this illustration that I read in my friend Carolyn’s blog the other day, that I thought was so amazing. Hopefully it is encouraging to someone :
"As I came home from church one evening, I was struggling to recognize God's guidance for my life. Suddenly, I drove into dense fog and could see nothing. Poking my head out the window, I noticed a tiny light from the road ahead. As I inched my car forward, it blinked out and another set of oncoming headlights took its place some yards ahead. I crawled along, following just the short distance I could see--one light after another--until the fog cleared. Then I realized that this is how God guides me. He shows me how far I need to go at any given moment. And step-by-step, I move from one light to the next. Confident of God's guidance, I let go of the need to see his complete plan."
Dr. Helen Roseveare, a British medical missionary in Africa from 1953 to 1973
Ah, it’s SO good to be home. Love you all.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
final chapter
As my final chapter of this season in my life approaches, I can't help but to be in deep reflection of the past few months.
I am so glad that I took the advice of one of my favorite people, Tranica, when she told me, "Bren, make sure to journal constantly!". I made sure that I did just that. The other day, I had some down time, so I read all of my journal entries. The night before I left for tour, Dustin gave me a few gifts, including my journal. I made sure to write in it every two days [only a few times did I slack off]. It is crazy to reflect and think how much you can change in such a short period of time. I feel I've changed for the better. Here are some things I noticed:
1. I am no longer afraid of doing things by myself. Whether that is eating, walking, exploring, taking the subway, or even going to the movie theaters to watch a sappy chick flick & laugh all by myself. I have always considered myself to be an independent person, and I like that. However, I was never the type to just get up and go... alone. I quickly realized that if I wanted to experience this season to its full potential, that would mean I would need to face each city head on. It just so happens that both of my teammates are from the Eastcoast, so when it came to exploring or sight seeing, they weren't really up for it. I am so glad I didn't let that hold me back.
2. Being intentional does really make a difference. Distance should never be an excuse. Of course it makes it harder to stay in communication with your loved ones when, physically, they aren't there. Before I left for tour, I told myself I need to be intentional with five of my closest sisters as well as Dustin, of course. I can look back and say happily that I did that. It wasn't always easy, but that is where the intentionality comes in. I have learned to appreciate the random texts, the picture messages, the facebook & myspace comments and the phone calls from my friends and family more now that I am not with them. Another way I've had to be intentional is with my relationship with Jesus. It is SO much harder to stay strong [for me] when I don't have my community and my weekly church service. I don't think that is an excuse, but it is reality for me. This tour reminded me that although I don't have a church on the road with me, I have Christ living in ME. I just need to be intentional, and He will still speak truth into my daily life.
3. As cheese ball as this sounds, "anything is possible". Touring the Eastcoast and visiting about 50 universities opened my eyes so much to my future. I have become more confident and determined, meaning when I get home, I am going to finish school and I will succeed. I am so excited to get back into school and learn more. I have more of a passion for intercultural studies and language. I really can't wait to see where the Lord leads me. I am learning that I can't keep putting the God of all creation in this box that I see fit for Him, because it is not fit for Him, it is fit for ME. This is a very vulnerable state to be in, but I know it will direct me where I need to go. Ah! So exciting! :]
There are obviously so many more things that I have learned about on tour, as well as things that have changed me. But that is enough for now! I really want to keep reflecting and take all of these things I have learned on the road with me home. They are memories but they are also life values that I wouldn't trade for the world.
It is now Sunday, and I have only two screenings left and I will be home on Thursday. I can't even believe it is near over. Well, when I get home I will debrief for almost two weeks, but still, TOUR is practically over.
Thank you loved ones for standing by me through this time, and for all of your prayers. I will be home soon enough, and I can't even wait to hug each and everyone of you.
You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?"
-George Bernard Shaw
I am so glad that I took the advice of one of my favorite people, Tranica, when she told me, "Bren, make sure to journal constantly!". I made sure that I did just that. The other day, I had some down time, so I read all of my journal entries. The night before I left for tour, Dustin gave me a few gifts, including my journal. I made sure to write in it every two days [only a few times did I slack off]. It is crazy to reflect and think how much you can change in such a short period of time. I feel I've changed for the better. Here are some things I noticed:
1. I am no longer afraid of doing things by myself. Whether that is eating, walking, exploring, taking the subway, or even going to the movie theaters to watch a sappy chick flick & laugh all by myself. I have always considered myself to be an independent person, and I like that. However, I was never the type to just get up and go... alone. I quickly realized that if I wanted to experience this season to its full potential, that would mean I would need to face each city head on. It just so happens that both of my teammates are from the Eastcoast, so when it came to exploring or sight seeing, they weren't really up for it. I am so glad I didn't let that hold me back.
2. Being intentional does really make a difference. Distance should never be an excuse. Of course it makes it harder to stay in communication with your loved ones when, physically, they aren't there. Before I left for tour, I told myself I need to be intentional with five of my closest sisters as well as Dustin, of course. I can look back and say happily that I did that. It wasn't always easy, but that is where the intentionality comes in. I have learned to appreciate the random texts, the picture messages, the facebook & myspace comments and the phone calls from my friends and family more now that I am not with them. Another way I've had to be intentional is with my relationship with Jesus. It is SO much harder to stay strong [for me] when I don't have my community and my weekly church service. I don't think that is an excuse, but it is reality for me. This tour reminded me that although I don't have a church on the road with me, I have Christ living in ME. I just need to be intentional, and He will still speak truth into my daily life.
3. As cheese ball as this sounds, "anything is possible". Touring the Eastcoast and visiting about 50 universities opened my eyes so much to my future. I have become more confident and determined, meaning when I get home, I am going to finish school and I will succeed. I am so excited to get back into school and learn more. I have more of a passion for intercultural studies and language. I really can't wait to see where the Lord leads me. I am learning that I can't keep putting the God of all creation in this box that I see fit for Him, because it is not fit for Him, it is fit for ME. This is a very vulnerable state to be in, but I know it will direct me where I need to go. Ah! So exciting! :]
There are obviously so many more things that I have learned about on tour, as well as things that have changed me. But that is enough for now! I really want to keep reflecting and take all of these things I have learned on the road with me home. They are memories but they are also life values that I wouldn't trade for the world.
It is now Sunday, and I have only two screenings left and I will be home on Thursday. I can't even believe it is near over. Well, when I get home I will debrief for almost two weeks, but still, TOUR is practically over.
Thank you loved ones for standing by me through this time, and for all of your prayers. I will be home soon enough, and I can't even wait to hug each and everyone of you.
You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?"
-George Bernard Shaw
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
i'm all smiles :]
Dear friends,
I just received news from our headquarters that due to some issues with our rental van, we have to get back earlier than we planned. Instead of leaving for California on the 15th, we will now be leaving on the 12th!!! I honestly could not be more excited than I am right now. Don't get me wrong, I have definitely enjoyed my experience, and I have learned some amazing things, but I just miss home so much. I just did a dance in the room I am staying in, THAT'S how excited I am. :]
anywho, I just thought I would share!
I just received news from our headquarters that due to some issues with our rental van, we have to get back earlier than we planned. Instead of leaving for California on the 15th, we will now be leaving on the 12th!!! I honestly could not be more excited than I am right now. Don't get me wrong, I have definitely enjoyed my experience, and I have learned some amazing things, but I just miss home so much. I just did a dance in the room I am staying in, THAT'S how excited I am. :]
anywho, I just thought I would share!
Friday, May 1, 2009
chapter who knows what number
Hi there!
Sorry for not keeping up with this, I kinda forgot! Tour is still tour. It's actually a lot better than it was when I last wrote, but it is getting harder to be away from home. I have about 17 more days until I reach California soil!! I am excited to see everyone, but sad because Tran will be leaving the day I get back, so I will be saying hello & goodbye :\ . I was just updating my calendar on my MacBook [which btw is a great application!] and I noticed that our next few weeks on tour are not that booked. We have a lot of days off, because we had trouble booking them, especially in Pennsylvania. Sooo, if you know anyone in the Philly or even Pittsburgh area that would want to host a screening, let me know! I was also inputting my schedule for when we get home. It is sort of a tease because I'll get home, but I still am not done with my internship as a Nomad. We have a retreat when we get to Torrance, CA for 3 days and then we have the weekend off, and then we are in the office doing debriefing office work Mon-Fri from 9am to 7pm everyday. Then Saturday night we have a farewell dinner...THEN I am officially done. Wow. So, technically I still have a while to go, but I will just be so happy to be near home :]
So back to tour! After Philly [which I really loved] we went to NYC. Which you think I would love too, right? Wrong. I mean, I have been there once before when I was 13 or 14, and enjoyed it. It's not like I hated the city this time around, however I was probably at my worst. The weather was terrible, the tour was rocky, everything cost an arm & a leg, and tons of not-so-fun miscommunication. The worst part was I was so, so lonely. I don't think I have ever felt so lonely. You know that feeling when your bf/gf breaks up with you, and it's the next morning and you wake up & it hits you in your stomach? Yeah, I felt that everyday. It is hard to explain. I also realized something else; when you are in a new place with tons of awesome landscapes & monuments, it's not so great when you have no one to share it with. I guess Christopher McCandless was right, happiness is only real when shared.
I am okay though.
The rest is sort of a blur, haha. Sorry. But I am still here. I still have learned a lot about myself, and about people in general.
I did get to see both of my aunts that live on the eastcoast, as well as hang out with my cousin, Jason. Both which were very interesting [in a good way] experiences. I love the fact that when it comes to family that it doesn't matter how much time you spend apart from each other, they will still always be there no matter what. Plus, I really benefited from the conversations I had with them.
My favorite city so far has been BOSTON. I absolutely loved it. The weather was beautiful for the most part, and I learned so much about the history of Boston and got to see lots of beautiful places. I even took a trolley tour on my day off and I highly recommend taking those in the cities that offer them! I took lots of pictures too. [there are too many pics to post on here right now, so if you want go to www.myspace.com/brendaabel & look at my "on the road again" photo album!]
We are on our last leg of our tour & it's actually getting really tough. On one hand, I am super excited to finish strong and GET HOME! However, I am finding that each day is a personal struggle to just get through it. I am missing Dustin like crazy. It has been such a blessing to be able to talk to him everyday & when possible, video chat. Being apart for this long has made us both realize that our love for each other is so strong & that we are both excited to begin the rest of our lives together! I also just miss my friends, and my community back home. I can't wait to get back on track with everyone!!
Friends, please keep me in prayer these next couple of weeks. Pray for patience, strength & just that everything will work out when I do get home [financially & what will happen this summer]
Thank you guys so much! Love you!!!
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