Friday, February 1, 2013

Dating Dilemma: Let Them Down Easy

Last week I introduced a new Blog Feature, "Dating Dilemmas". It's my first feature that I've ever had on this blog, and it's my goal to write once a week about it. My aim for this feature is not to make it all about my love life history, but rather to help others in their situations. Dating is difficult, let's be honest. But, it also can be such an amazing thing. It took me about a decade of dating to find the right one and I want to help others get to that point too.

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This dating dilemma is actually a sequel to the situation from last week. You might remember me mentioning how my friend was caught in a sticky situation with a guy she met online. She was nervous going into the date, and then after the date happened she realized she in fact was not interested in him. How could she let him down easy?

Meeting someone can be hard, letting someone down can be even more difficult.

I encouraged her to be up front and honest with him. When letting someone down, you have to realize that although the phrase may say "let them down easy", it's never really easy. You're dealing with someone's feelings and if you have a heartbeat, you probably don't enjoy hurting people. So, accept that it won't be easy, but understand that the sooner you face the music, the better it will be for you and the other person.

Here are a few pointers to get you through your next "let down dilemma":

>> Be polite, but forward with how you feel. Being kind is the respectful thing to do, but be sure to be honest.
>> When being forward, be blunt. If you aren't they will find room to squeeze themselves in.
>> Keep in mind, you most likely WILL hurt their feelings. But it's better to do that in the beginning when there isn't much attachment.
>> After letting them down easy, be done with it. Some people want to check back in and see the aftermath damage, but that's not your responsibility or place. Once you close the door, keep it closed.
>> Don't delay, just do it.

**Please note that the situation I am giving advice about is for a first time date. Every case is different, and I would not advise these pointers for letting someone down easy if it were a well developed relationship.

I know for my friend, after she did all of this she felt much better. I've been there before, and maybe you're there now. Letting someone down is not easy, but facing it head on before you get too involved will always be much better than avoiding in.

Next week I will talk about another situation where someone was on the opposite end of being let down, but unfortunately the other person was not straight forward about it.

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Again, I would love to offer any advice to you in your dating dilemmas! I know it can be a vulnerable thing, so feel free to leave an anonymous comment below OR e-mail me: & I'd love to help!


1 comment:

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