back to my roots: why i write

I can't believe it's almost Thanksgiving. Scratch that. I can't believe it's already fall. Where did time go? Five months ago today, Jamey and I got married. THAT to me is insane. So much has happened since that perfect day, and yet I haven't documented even half of it all. Now, let me clarify something first. I don't believe I need to document every little moment for the world to see. Frankly, I enjoy keeping some of those moments to myself; for my own head and heart to know. But, when I think about the reason I even started this blog being to document my life, and all of the precious moments, it makes me sad to know that I haven't done the best job at it.

I recently read a post that inspired me to write again. Sometimes I can fill my head with nonsense and lies about why I shouldn't write. I'll tell myself, "no one reads it anyway", "you're nobody special. Everything you write about has already been written, and probably said better than you", or "People will think you're obsessed with yourself". I say these are lies, because no one has ever told MY story. No one can understand what my life is like, because it is mine. 

A friend of mine recently re-posted a statement that hit home for me. It said, 

"You should write. Even though everything's already been said beautifully. Even though there's nothing new under the sun. Even so. Because there may be nothing new to say, but if you haven't spoken up yet - then there is a new VOICE to hear. That's all we have - our voices. No two are the same. No one sees the world QUITE like you do, and no one else can tell us your story QUITE like you could. You are our only chance to know you. You're it. If you yearn to use your voice and you don't - we will all suffer for it. Be brave. Be audacious enough to consider that your story is worth telling and your voice is worth hearing. Your story and your voice are worthy of occupying some space in this world."

I want to be a consistent writer. Not because I want to make a lot of money doing it, or because it happens to be the hip thing to do nowadays. I want to write because I feel it deep within my bones to express my thoughts. I want to write so that my children, and my children's children can reflect back on my life and have an understanding of where they came from. 

I want to document the joys and the pains to maybe, just maybe, 

inspire someone to believe that they are capable of doing great things. 

five months ago, I married my better half

I want to stop feeling as if there are boundaries or rules to the rhyme and reason I write. No one is holding me back, only myself. It's time to break free of those lies, 

and begin to write when I want, and what I want.

I love you all, and I appreciate your support while I walk through this sometimes rugged journey.

XO

Brenda

Why I Blog

I took a break from blogging for the last month, mainly because of how busy I've been, but also to reevaluate why I am on here in the first place. For the majority of the last year, I haven't really felt like an effective writer or blogger. I think for once, I have found myself in such a perfect place in life. I fell absolutely in love with my now fiance, and I think I just really wanted to live out my life, rather than invest in writing about it.

I don't want this to be the case though. I believe there was a season for it, but I really feel drawn back here for some reason. I want to be a writer who stays true to myself. I don't want to write about something because it's trendy or what other popular bloggers are writing about. I want the reasons I write anything on here to be to help others, to speak into people's lives, and to validate their feelings in the seasons they have found themselves in. I also want to use this as a platform to document my own life. The good and the bad. I generally have used this blog to keep track of the things I experience so that I can always reflect back on it.

So there you have it, that is the kind of writer I am and these are the topics you can expect to find on here. I commend each and everyone of you out there for staying true to yourself and what you feel compelled to write about. It isn't easy putting your words out into cyberspace, but I hope you know that you have a friend in me who can understand and appreciate you doing exactly that.

XO

Brenda

On Being Twenty-Five

25.

On July 9th of this year, I gracefully turned the daunting age of twenty-five. I'll be honest, I was not looking forward to this age at all. Not only is it completely discouraging to no longer be able to say you are in your "early twenties", but somehow you feel you are obligated to have all of your i's dotted and t's crossed. It's an interesting age, twenty-five, but aside from the few additional gray hairs, and lack of constant energy, I'd be as bold to say that twenty-five has been the best year yet, and I'm banking on continuing this way.

I am grateful to have such beautiful people in my life. I know that it is because of them that I am able to look twenty-five in the face and embrace it. I am no longer afraid of being older, and I am actually really looking forward to aging (not in the wrinkly kind of way though, I could definitely go without that). Growing old is such a beautiful concept, especially when you find contentment with those who you'll be growing old with.

I was talking with my best friend tonight, and I mentioned how I never blog anymore, and that makes me sad. I have complete control over how much I write, and I don't have a crazy busy schedule, so why do I let blogging sit on the back burner? She brought up a great point, my life is pretty consistent right now. I have a boyfriend who I am madly in love with, great community of friends and an awesome job. It almost is more difficult to consistently document my life when it's pretty great.

My point to all of this is, one, to actually write a blog entry, but also because I want to share in the sunshine, and not just in the rain. I suppose I just never want to come across as someone who claims to have it all together, and rubs their blessings in everyone's faces. But, that is not my motive in writing, nor will it ever be.

So here's to being the beautiful age of 25, and here's to beautiful seasons of joy, and here's to life & all that comes with it.

I hope you're all well!

XO,

Brenda